Another type of professional domination - Interview with Master Giacon
Although I have studied the universe of unusual eros for many years, there is one category of its inhabitants that I have never dealt with - mainly because it is so rare as to be considered almost a legend. I am referring to the professional dominators who, compared to the thousands of paid mistresses widespread in every country, even on a global scale can be counted on the fingers of one's hands.
Frankly, I would have continued to ignore them if by coincidence I had not found myself sharing a short car journey with one of them. The result was a chat that pleasantly surprised me because of my interlocutor's approach to BDSM and opinions. It was inevitable that I would then get the urge to interview him to learn a little more about the reality of this type of sex worker, and so I called up Master Giacon…
Hello, Alessandro! Shall we start with your presentation?
Hello, Ayzad! It is always difficult to introduce yourself fully without sounding conceited. I am a person who loves everything that gives strong and intense emotions: BDSM in particular. I also believe I am a centred and balanced person, which I consider the basis for dominance, without which one cannot begin this kind of journey. I have also made a job out of this passion, in which I use BDSM to provide strong and unconventional sensual and psychological experiences.
I really enjoy learning and try to do so from anything and anyone, even the seemingly simplest ones, always seeking new insights for personal growth even with those who contact me even if only to find a serious and experienced playpartner, without necessarily involving domination.
The figure of the professional dominatrix has been so much cleared through customs and inflated that it has even lost all trace of the mythical aura it had until a decade ago. While prodoms can be counted in their hundreds, men who choose to work as masters are very rare even on a global scale. How do you read this phenomenon?
The culture of BDSM for many is still taboo and little known. Many people have fantasies on the subject but know nothing about them: they often live them unhealthily, in secret, without realising that they are the first to label their urges as wrong or unnatural. Here one could argue about who determines what is natural and what is not; for me, everything that exists in nature is natural, and therefore also homosexuality, BDSM and sex work. As you also wrote in your book BDSM - An Explorer's Guide to Extreme Eroticism, many practices until a few years ago were considered diseases and this still greatly limits their acceptance. Men are driven to be afraid of expressing their “perversions” to their mates and being labelled as sick, so they are incentivised to seek out strangers with whom they can satisfy their fetishes and sexual fantasies. This is why the figure of the mistress is so inflated: I have known many who have become one in response to client demand, but they lack character completely and there is a lot of improvisation. I see very few Mistresses and many women who offer certain practices in exchange for money, convinced that they are dominant.
Between people of the same sex, the phenomenon manifests itself differently because there is a lot of intimacy, and the level of embarrassment about talking about one's urges disappears much more quickly. It is no coincidence that same-sex relationships are often more open and satisfying. Ultimately it is a law of the market: the lower the demand, the lower the supply.
By the way: how did your decision to become a pro-master come about? Both making that decision and building the business, I mean.
I remember it well: one morning I was on the train with my girlfriend returning from a play party with a prodomme friend who was our guest. She told me: «Ale, why don't you do it too? You're already trained, you have passion and you're better at it than most people I know... have you seen the masters there?» We spent the whole trip laughing at the online ads of masters who looked like a parody of themselves between grammatical errors and horrible photos. Convincing me that I could offer something more was one in a wrestling suit, who offered to ‘smell his member and hair as a prize’.
Step by step I thus revolutionised my life, leaving a job that made me suffer from long unsatisfying hours that gave me no motivation. I had been working on myself finding growth for years, and when I started I realised that I was finally on the right track I was doing what I liked and I was doing it for a purpose: to feel good and to make people feel good.
The first earnings I spent on sex toys, for which I have a real fetish. Then I expanded my fetish wardrobe and built my first structures: a cross, a pillory and a suspension point. I took all the available courses to learn what I didn't know yet, starting from a very good theoretical and practical base: years of being in the kinky environment have been very useful for confronting and learning.
As soon as I had the chance, I also changed location, moving to a completely frescoed 1800s villa where I created a unique environment, equipped with everything. I wanted to be able to offer the best of every aspect of BDSM and I almost succeeded. Having a fetish also for sapiosexuality I am however always ready to learn new things.
So much planning reminds me that just now I heard a hint of criticism in referring to paid mistresses. Those who have read my books know that I complain not about the trade itself, but about its improvisation. What are your impressions on the subject?
It is difficult to answer without generalising and picking on those ladies who are truly driven by passion. Good mistresses there are very few: the market is flooded with people who offer a caricature of what domination really is in order to find an alternative method of making a living. Their total lack of passion and balance is obvious, so they often attract justified criticism. The fault, however, does not lie with them, but with those who, in order to lick their feet, write to them all, exalting them as supreme goddesses and creating this illusory idea of superiority.
A well-prepared, passionate person with various sex toys, facilities, suitable location, clothing and everything else can hardly afford to offer what he has invested so much in at the same price as the first improviser with a Decathlon whip and a strap-on bought on Aliexpress. Then everyone has their own audience: many live only thanks to the total lack of culture of the submissive, and it must be admitted that even some inexperienced and makeshift people manage to offer an excellent service thanks to an innate empathy.
This is just a summary: the topic is vast and deserves much more space.
Can you give me an example of the “behind the scenes” of Master Giacon and the preparation required for your role?
There is a minimum level for which courses, meetings, events, direct confrontation with experts, reading books and forums on the subject are very important. However, I would like to focus on a subject that is little talked about: the balance and centring of those who dominate. To summarise my thoughts I will adapt a phrase from Krishnamurti: «dominate yourself in order to dominate others». How can you think of doing this if you have not experienced yourself and cannot control your own emotions and drives? Would you ever put your life in the hands of someone who could change behaviour according to the emotions of the moment, without knowing how to manage them?
I have spent a lot of time working on myself, expending a lot of energy to find my balance and centre. It is a journey that starts with accepting myself and others, which has allowed me to become who I am and offer much more than a list of practices. This also allows me not to have to prepare for meetings, because in sexuality spontaneity is fundamental and I really like to be inspired by the moment and the person in front of me.
I would like to spare you the classic question about «the strangest requests you have been asked», but it is inevitable to talk a little about your clientele, which you mentioned to me is predominantly male.
Yes, I mainly meet men and I have only recently opened the door to women, due to my preconception that they were not willing to pay a man, especially without traditional sex. Instead, the first was a girl just over 18, very attractive, who made me reconsider.
The people I meet - whom I don't like to call ‘clients’ because I want our relationship not to be cold or aloof - are so different from each other that it is impossible to talk about them in general terms. Each one has unique characteristics, and many have really contributed to my personal as well as professional growth. Their interests range from the more extreme and niche to the softer and more common.
And here I am reminded of one of the great mysteries of extreme eros: the gay world's often twisted relationship with BDSM and unusual practices in general. I have always noticed a decided separatism from the hetero/pansexual scene to begin with, and it amuses me to observe the mirror-climbing with which it is often denied...
For me too it is a mystery that is hard to explain, even now that I have also been attending gay BDSM events for four years. I have seen very little play there: many have a very expensive dress code, but beyond that there is little fetish; a lot of fisting and puppy play, a few pissing scenes. Even bondage, which is widespread in the hetero world, is a rarity there; sex prevails in a 1:10 ratio, and you see a lot of it everywhere.
That separatism probably comes from there: in the parties we are used to, sex has less space and is consequently less appealing to the category, not to mention that just as many straight men do not like to see two men fucking, many gays do not like to see women doing it.
I was just recently talking about this with a friend who is very active in the international gay scene, who told me that most serious masters play at home and not at events, so those who approach the environment lack someone to show and teach how things work. According to him it is the effect of the retreat of an entire generation during the AIDS epidemic, which is a pity because I also learned a lot from the “veterans”.
...And the other curious thing is that in the gay sphere domination - and perhaps even more so submission - seems to be experienced in absolute terms: either to extreme levels, or not at all. Several men who came to me for coaching complained, for example, that they had been looking for partners for years with whom they could have a balanced BDSM and human relationship, but had failed to do so. In many cases I guided them to a solution, but the very fact that you then have such a large clientele suggests that there is some widespread mental mechanism. What do you think?
On this my experience is different: many people ask me to experiment with soft practices, while those who seek the extreme are rarer and often link it to drug use, which I do not allow and which I believe is one of the biggest problems with gay sexuality.
On the other hand, the difficulty in finding balanced partners is widespread regardless of the type of orientation: the only notable difference is that among gays promiscuity is declared and experienced, whereas in the straight world it is often hidden by lies and deception.
Speaking of identity, it is interesting that you have chosen to appear with your first and last name and in a very public way. Considering all the discrimination towards alternative sexualities, has this ever given you a problem?
If you had asked me a fortnight ago I would have said no, but I recently received threats from people close to one of my slaves, who without asking her anything used my public contacts to insult and threaten me. Violence shows ignorance and lack of culture on these subjects, which you do not understand to be a way to increase pleasure and the intensity of sensations.
I like to be transparent and I pride myself on not having anything to hide. If they ask me anything I freely tell them who I am, what I do and what my private life is like, enjoying seeing the reactions. Unfortunately, however, there is discrimination. To try to change the collective mentality I set an example by not hiding, and I am writing a book to share as much as possible the depth and intensity of this world still unknown to most people.
In conclusion, it will be a case of asking yourself how you see your future: both near and far.
I am often asked this and I do not know what to answer because instead of looking to the future I live fully in the present. I have been doing this since I was a child, and after reading and studying Eastern philosophy and personal growth, I realised that all time looking to the past or the future is wasted. Not living in the present is common in those who are unhappy and seek satisfaction elsewhere, but I love my present and my life: I have no need to escape from it.